Balance
Transcript Waiter beard intro Good morning beardlovers. I didn't get much sleep the past few days so I went to bed really early last night. And I woke up more tired. Now that's counterintuitive. You'd think if you got more sleep, you'd be less tired, right? of an ear with the title 'SIDENOTE' written on it Side note! When I'm falling asleep, it's really hard for others to fall asleep around me because of, well, obvious reasons. slowly close and ding, open again sleepily, close and ding Anyway, to get back on topic, what was I talking about? More sleep, more tired. Oh yeah. Thanks bro. Does everything work the opposite way you want it to like that? Like, if I burn money, will I become more rich? lighter while holding a dollar Or if I hit myself, will it feel better? punches Craig Craig: Ahhhhhh, lollipops and rainbows. Clone: Yeah. I do what I can. Or if I insult myself, does it give me a higher self esteem? Clone: I really hate you. You're ugly. And stupid. Craig: Oh my god! That makes me feel really good! Or if I untie my shoes, does that decrease the risk of tripping? down to untie shoes. Gets up from chair. Trips and falls. That was a statistical outlier! No, none of these things are true. Like my mom always says... at window: Balance is the key to enlightenment, son. Now shut the *ding* up. I'm watching Maury. Oh, not the father? You gotta be kidding me! He looks just like him. Ah, my mother. A modern-day Confucius. She's like an R-rated fortune cookie. But she's right. Balance is what's important. You sleep too long, you get tired. You sleep too short, you get tired. But you have a regular schedule, and everything's good. A lot of you new subscribers have been sending very positive comments. Thank you very much. It makes me feel good. Maybe a little too good. I think we need to balance it out with some hating. Where are all the haters? Come on! Yesterday I smeared pop tart all over my chest. That's ridiculous. I think it's funny to punch myself. What am I, four? Apologies to all the four-year-old subscribers. Come on, let's get some negativity out there. Tomorrow let's see if we can get me to break down and cry like a little girl. at window: That shouldn't be too *ding*ing hard. Oh, and apologies to all the little girls out there. But let's face it, you do cry a lot. looking at his wrist for the time. His cell phone is balanced there. Didn't balance my time enough to eat breakfast. I guess we're done. 1: I can probably do that better. 2: Do the lip raise. Do the lip raise. Okay, ready? 1, 2, 3. 1 and 2 wink. (ding) (ding) dot com or youtube dot com slash wheezywaiter outro Recurring themes beardlovers, sidenote, dinging eyelids, clone, punching, hypothetical mother, *ding* censors out swears, wink Wink Wink submitted by http://www.youtube.com/jabberjabber7. Firsts This is the first time that sidenote is used. Not sure if it got used again. We will see.